Okay, we all know that Beyonce has her new song, "Single Ladies: Put A Ring On It." It has sparked debate about how long a woman should have to wait before her guy pops the question. Is it okay if he never does as long as you're together? Should we as "single ladies" put the ultimatum down or should we wait patiently (within a reasonable timeframe) to be proposed to?
I am currently a single lady. I think about marriage, but not in the aspect of when it's going to happen, but will my game plan go the way I want it to. I currently do not have any children but I hope to have at least one soon. I said I would not have children if I didn't have them by age 30, but I am knocking on that door soon. With that being said, I made the personal decision that I waited this long, so I matter as well wait on a husband to help me raise my future child(ren). If I was to enter a serious relationship, how long should I wait for the proposal? Well, after talking to some of my single friends, some say they will tell their mate after 2 years something needs to happen. I don't feel like you should press a man to marry you. I think that is like begging. Giving an ultimatum is kind of deep too. What if he proposes to shut you up, but then you're engaged for five years or worse, it doesn't work out because he didn't want to marry you in the first place!! That's some BS if you know what I mean. Just because you have been with someone for an "X" amount of years doesn't mean they're the ONE for you. Would you settle for less to get the pretty rock on that left ring finger?
I have dated a couple of men in my life and two I was serious about. They were some of the "toughest" for lack of a better word, men you knew. A guys guy. They would bring up marriage. They would say, "We should get married" or "One day, I'm gonna marry you." So I think that if a man wants to marry you, he will express signs or comment on it. Women don't give credit to men for some things. Men don't fall in love quick, but when they do, they love hard. I believe that if a man really loves you and wants to marry you, he will muster up enough courage to ask. If you have been with someone for 7 years and they have not mentioned marriage at all, then they probably won't.
Overall, I don't know what the time frame should be. I know I wouldn't wait to invest five years into someone who can't see themselves spending the rest of their life with me, but I don't know if I would be ready in two years either. It's a decision that comes with the course of the relationship, so What's Your Opinion?
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Isn't it something how songs often bring out the debate with others. I do not believe in putting down an ultimatum as in forcing someone to propose to you, because to me nothing good will come from a forced marriage in my opinion. On the other hand though you do have many women with their heart and dreams set on being married, nothing wrong with that but I believe it's best to be with a mate that shares the same intentions as yourself, as not every man is looking to marry so if perhaps a woman with those ambitions find herself in a relationship as I mentioned and years have elasped with no talks of marriage nearing then I feel it would be fine for the women to let her partner know of her dreams because perhaps she is just not with her Mr Right so why continue to waste her valuable time with a man whom has no intentions of settling down in a marriage with her, but reap what you sow if he don't like your ultimatum and decides to bounce then don't go running behind him pleading to stay, move on.
ReplyDeleteThat's true too that men may propose just to shut you up, then comes the whole big picture of when are we actually getting married? So in all every one's timing is different and what works for one won't work for all, but I don't agree with women that pressure their mates into marriage, bottom line if it's meant to be, it will be, especially if we talking actual healthy and happy marriages.